come back...

tonight my heart aches for a man who is walking his wife through a tremendous journey ~ I know a little of this, but have no claims on knowing his anguish ~ some watch a journey of fear, others - sadness and some just walk peacefully along - perhaps these words were given to me for you...

come back!

brenda vandersee

who is that man before me

with grandpa's hands and face

who speaks of things he thinks he sees

memories of me? not a trace

not good-bye, but not hello

not gone, but not with me

i miss him so, he doesn't know

in his mind, what does he see?

oh, come back! i want to scream

but you're not gone, you're here

so far away - i miss you so

can you sense that i am near?

~~~~~~~

you sang to me and held me close

your voice so soft and kind

i gaze in to your gentle eyes

but memories you can't find

oh grandma you have left us too

but your frail hand i still hold

i trust our loving, sovereign God

your story being told

come back! i cry, sometimes you do

and what a precious gift

you said "i love you" to my mom

what a treasure ~ what a fit

~~~~~~~

oh sister, friend, dear husband, wife

as long as you draw breath

your loving God has plans for you

a life that still has depth

we love you so and will not leave

your side as you press on

to live the life He gives to you

to lift a pleasing song

the journey that's before you

is the greatest that i know

may your Savior stay close by your side

wherever you may go

come back! to me one day you will

we'll meet again in glory

until that day i'll be with you

as you finish your earthly story

lost....

may these words be a call to take a stand against complacency, and may I challenge you to ask God to search your heart, and if it is present, that He reveal to you the sin of indifference, pride or anything that stands between you and the truth of your passion for Him and His....

lost

brenda vandersee

To know Him more each day I strive

His presence I desire

To hear His voice and feel Him near

Ignites a holy fire 

To proclaim what I have learned

To any who will hear

To share the fellowship I’ve known

My joy complete as more draw near 

~~~~~~

Glitz and glam but still decay,

For some this world holds charm

To compromise and fit right in

Only brings them harm 

This hungry world so seeks to fill

An empty aching soul

People things and worldly cures

Just dig a deeper hole

Their destiny ~ destruction

Their glory is their shame

They set their eyes on earthly things

But they don't know his name 

~~~~~~~

Schedules filled, such busy lives

So many ways to boast

Church and sports and phd’s

To ourselves we toast 

The saved are lost without a clue

Why that thirst is never quenched

You know the rules and words to say

But in pride remain entrenched

Gossip in the name of prayer

So eager to put down

Baggy clothes or tattooed arms

Your disapproving frown

Your destiny ~ destruction

Your glory is your shame

You justify your compromise

You claim to know his name

~~~~~~~

Wake up lost saved it’s not too late

As long as you draw breath

To live a life that honors Him

And leads others from their death 

Not just busy hands and moving lips

But hearts that overflow

With a knowledge and relationship

So deep one truly knows 

Forget your past achievements

Leave credentials at the door

A student ‘til the day you die

Or a disciple you are no more 

Oh, my brethren, whom I love

You are my joy and crown

This is how you should stand firm

And make His name renown 

Search His word with all your heart

And seek Him every day

Grow until the day you die

And you won’t lose your way 

See the lost through His eyes

Of compassion, truth and love

Draw these lonely souls to Christ

To the treasures of above 

You have a future and a hope

A reason why you’re here

To live a life that draws them in

Have a love that holds them near 

To fulfill your calling on this earth

You must be set apart

So they will know you from the rest

Because you have His heart 

Not a destiny of destruction

But a future with our King

Set your eyes on Jesus

Rise up on eagles wings 

The day is near, birth pains are close

We must be true and strong

Stand firm proclaim His holy Word

With lives that sing His song

inspired by the words of paul and the heart of john....

One King

The repetition of the message of Christ begins in the garden, continues in the tabernacle in the wilderness and comes to pass at the cross - the images repeating yet transforming....

The song is performed by Point of Grace ~ I wrote this poem in hopes of communicating even greater depth in the beautiful chorus..

One King

 brenda vandersee

Hammered to perfection, pure gold

and seven branches

illuminate the Holy Place

of love and second chances

Fueled by pure oil this lampstand burns

but only if attended

early morning and every night

by those who've been selected

It burns to make the dark place light

it burns so one can see

the show bread of His presence

a sign of what will be

Anointed priests move deeper still

in to this holy place

to the alter of the incense

they long to see His face

From the alter of atonement

a coal is used to light

a pleasing fragrance to their God

intersession for their plight

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

Perfection beaten for my sin

blood shed to set me free

to see and live and be a light

His Spirit the fuel in me

The Bread of Life is all I need

anointed by His grace

the veil torn in two, down on my knees

I too will seek His face

Confess my sins, lift up my voice

in love and true repentance

on this alter sanctified

I lift a pleasing fragrance

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

From the splendor and the beauty

deep inside the Holy Place

to the cross of my dear Savior

who died to take my place

God shows His love and mercy

in countless, brilliant ways

but maybe none so tender

as we see His Son as just a babe

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

Three men who knew a king was born

three men we're told were wise

fell down before this child, their King

this child who was born to die

One king held the frankincense

the fragrance of our need

One king held the myrrh for Him

anointing oil for this boy, our King

One king held pure gold

for this Lampstand in our dark place

but the night they fell and worshiped Him

these men saw God's own face....

One King - from Point of Grace

am i hiding in the garden....

I only have memories of being astonished that Adam and Eve could be so foolish as to think they could possibly hide from God ~ but lately I've been trying to find the message for me in these 'ridiculous' and 'obvious' stories.  Last night as I was drifting off to sleep ~ this question popped in to my mind ~ Am I hiding in the garden....

Am I Hiding in the Garden

Am I hiding in the garden
trying to cover up my shame?
Do I respond to His loving voice
when He calls to me by name?

Am I hiding in the garden
each day I spend away
from His perfect word and fellowship
and the times that I should pray?

Am I hiding in the garden
when my sins I still deny
with shallow, careless, empty prayers
that perpetuate more lies?

Am I hiding in the garden
when I hold on to a grudge
stand my ground and justify
the reasons I won't budge?

Am I hiding in the garden
in the busyness of life
trading peace and fellowship
for vain pursuits and strife?

Am I hiding in the garden
still listening to the snake
my love and peace and fellowship
he strives each day to take?

Confess my sins!  Call out to God
and let His heel crush
the lies that keep me hiding here
underneath this brush!

I've learned a precious lesson
from Adam and his wife
Stay close to God and never doubt
I need Him in my life

Are you hiding in the garden?
Cry out to God and see
your loving Father waits for you
and He will set you free!

tangled...

tangled in my whirling thoughts
not knowing what to do
fearing failure, time flying by
each day an older you

sweet child of mine, i've done my best
to train you all i know
to love and live in righteousness
so to Him you'll always go

you trip, i gasp, i fear i've failed
panic grips my heart
reminded again, not mine but His
a priceless work of art

tangled in my whirling thoughts
the devil smells my fears
dropped to my knees i ask and pray
my prayers i know He hears

back in the game i guide again
i'll coach you every day
still in my care He's trusted me
to guide you to His way

you see, you learn, it finally clicks
your heart continues to grow
each challenge that He gives us
is so that we can know

when tangled in our whirling thoughts
we must kneel down and pray
we both will grow and be shaped more
like His son each day

dear friend...

To lose someone we love can create a storm of emotions in our hearts ~ whether gone Home or moved away ~ in the best of circumstances or the worst ~ the pain and heartache can cloud our vision, obscure truth and hold us captive....

dear friend ~ I pray for your clear view of God and your absolute freedom in Christ....

dear friend...

Hurt and broken, you shed angry tears
Who or what feeds all of these fears

You speak of our God, your prayers and His peace
But these bitter tears do not seem to cease

I know that you struggle, you must learn to let go
Forgiveness, not anger is what you must sow

History shows us that heroes will rise
Kindness and wisdom ~ no wrong in our eyes

We love them and trust them and give them our heart
Knowing, yet forgetting ~ one day we may part

Isaiah has shown us great men can out-shine
Our full view of God, if at the wrong time

Although we are weak, our God knows what's best
Moving them on, so in Him we'll rest

I miss you, dear friend, but his timing is right
He's called us to battle, and this is His fight

Pushed away from our friends, but drawn near to our Lord
He fights these tough battles with the Truth of His Sword

Sisters and friends in Christ you can trust
I love you, dear friend ~ He told us ~ we must

This very day I am praying like Paul
That God give you wisdom to soon see this all

Trust Him and love Him, dear friend ~ let Him heal
your heart and your spirit ~ His power is real

One day soon, I do pray, you'll know peace ~ deep and true
Until that day comes, I'll be praying for you....

In the day King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord.... Isaiah 6:1a

traps and snares...

A good trapper must have many devices ~ cages, nets, ropes are just a few~ the method of choice varying based on the prey and the surroundings, the trapper must know his prey, how to lure him and how to best conceal any trace of himself and his trap, often using things from his prey's environment to best fool his victim.

The spiritual world is certainly far more complex than the worst wilderness or jungle ~ As a Christian I should be well trained to avoid snares and traps so that I will not be taken captive ~ but sometimes I think we are fooled by our surroundings, distracted by the bait, dulled by our hunger, weakened by old wounds...

Hurt feelings, a broken heart, a quarrel with a friend, tension in a marriage, loneliness, shame, illness, selfishness, pride, regret, fear or doubt, guilt and insecurities ~ can dull our senses, weaken our judgement and even be used to snare us ~ just a little of this and a little of that, and we might not even see it coming, fooled by the camouflage...

A well run home, community and church involvement, business success, lives engrossed in our children, hobbies or spouses ~ even our own eagerness to deny a problem's existence can all camouflage the building materials being used to slowly lure us in to captivity.

No one is contained by a single bar in a prison wall, nor bound by a short length of rope ~ it can be so easy to be unconcerned when the first few are dropped in place, or a few scraps of rope are scattered about ~ just look another direction, focus on your busyness and things seem fine ~ but one day, when the last couple of bars are dropped in place ~ we're trapped, suddenly captive and bound and not knowing how we got there...

We may grab hold of the bars, determined to break through the iron strength from our fear regarding money, health, children or marriage, or grasp at the ropes of loneliness, doubt, regret and guilt that bind us ~ or we may drop to our knees desperate to dig out of the mud and mire of our bitter and angry thoughts, those justifiable arguments we so self-righteously clung too ~ wondering why we are trapped, how could we be captive to just one little thing...

It is easy to be pleased that there are no bars to form a prison wall in your life while ignoring the ropes that snake in to bind you ~ so likely to sleep soundly when you look at your busy, seemingly unbound hands, when the muck and the mire build in your heart from the bitter, self-righteous, judgemental thoughts, you know, just the ones that are justified...

How easily we can be lured in, watching for one trap, being caught by another...

Drawn in pride, bound by lies, stuck in the muck of our own futile or ugly thoughts ~ we can find ourselves prisoners in this supernatural war ~ we don't have the strength to break through the bars, nor the wisdom to untie the binds and we have no ability to cleanse the muck that holds us down ~ we need our Savior

If you've looked on every side and see the bars that hold you in, if you've raised your hands only to find them bound, if you scratch and you dig seeking a way out of the mess - STOP ~

Look up to see the way of escape, raise your hands in confession and He will break the ties that hold you captive, repent of your sins and he will cleanse the muck that holds you down, surrender to Him and he will raise you from your cell ~ learn from Him and He will train you to walk on the path free from snares...