dear friend...

To lose someone we love can create a storm of emotions in our hearts ~ whether gone Home or moved away ~ in the best of circumstances or the worst ~ the pain and heartache can cloud our vision, obscure truth and hold us captive....

dear friend ~ I pray for your clear view of God and your absolute freedom in Christ....

dear friend...

Hurt and broken, you shed angry tears
Who or what feeds all of these fears

You speak of our God, your prayers and His peace
But these bitter tears do not seem to cease

I know that you struggle, you must learn to let go
Forgiveness, not anger is what you must sow

History shows us that heroes will rise
Kindness and wisdom ~ no wrong in our eyes

We love them and trust them and give them our heart
Knowing, yet forgetting ~ one day we may part

Isaiah has shown us great men can out-shine
Our full view of God, if at the wrong time

Although we are weak, our God knows what's best
Moving them on, so in Him we'll rest

I miss you, dear friend, but his timing is right
He's called us to battle, and this is His fight

Pushed away from our friends, but drawn near to our Lord
He fights these tough battles with the Truth of His Sword

Sisters and friends in Christ you can trust
I love you, dear friend ~ He told us ~ we must

This very day I am praying like Paul
That God give you wisdom to soon see this all

Trust Him and love Him, dear friend ~ let Him heal
your heart and your spirit ~ His power is real

One day soon, I do pray, you'll know peace ~ deep and true
Until that day comes, I'll be praying for you....

In the day King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord.... Isaiah 6:1a

traps and snares...

A good trapper must have many devices ~ cages, nets, ropes are just a few~ the method of choice varying based on the prey and the surroundings, the trapper must know his prey, how to lure him and how to best conceal any trace of himself and his trap, often using things from his prey's environment to best fool his victim.

The spiritual world is certainly far more complex than the worst wilderness or jungle ~ As a Christian I should be well trained to avoid snares and traps so that I will not be taken captive ~ but sometimes I think we are fooled by our surroundings, distracted by the bait, dulled by our hunger, weakened by old wounds...

Hurt feelings, a broken heart, a quarrel with a friend, tension in a marriage, loneliness, shame, illness, selfishness, pride, regret, fear or doubt, guilt and insecurities ~ can dull our senses, weaken our judgement and even be used to snare us ~ just a little of this and a little of that, and we might not even see it coming, fooled by the camouflage...

A well run home, community and church involvement, business success, lives engrossed in our children, hobbies or spouses ~ even our own eagerness to deny a problem's existence can all camouflage the building materials being used to slowly lure us in to captivity.

No one is contained by a single bar in a prison wall, nor bound by a short length of rope ~ it can be so easy to be unconcerned when the first few are dropped in place, or a few scraps of rope are scattered about ~ just look another direction, focus on your busyness and things seem fine ~ but one day, when the last couple of bars are dropped in place ~ we're trapped, suddenly captive and bound and not knowing how we got there...

We may grab hold of the bars, determined to break through the iron strength from our fear regarding money, health, children or marriage, or grasp at the ropes of loneliness, doubt, regret and guilt that bind us ~ or we may drop to our knees desperate to dig out of the mud and mire of our bitter and angry thoughts, those justifiable arguments we so self-righteously clung too ~ wondering why we are trapped, how could we be captive to just one little thing...

It is easy to be pleased that there are no bars to form a prison wall in your life while ignoring the ropes that snake in to bind you ~ so likely to sleep soundly when you look at your busy, seemingly unbound hands, when the muck and the mire build in your heart from the bitter, self-righteous, judgemental thoughts, you know, just the ones that are justified...

How easily we can be lured in, watching for one trap, being caught by another...

Drawn in pride, bound by lies, stuck in the muck of our own futile or ugly thoughts ~ we can find ourselves prisoners in this supernatural war ~ we don't have the strength to break through the bars, nor the wisdom to untie the binds and we have no ability to cleanse the muck that holds us down ~ we need our Savior

If you've looked on every side and see the bars that hold you in, if you've raised your hands only to find them bound, if you scratch and you dig seeking a way out of the mess - STOP ~

Look up to see the way of escape, raise your hands in confession and He will break the ties that hold you captive, repent of your sins and he will cleanse the muck that holds you down, surrender to Him and he will raise you from your cell ~ learn from Him and He will train you to walk on the path free from snares...

slaying dragons

How much do I weigh to day
how do you think I look?
Should it really matter?
Let's consult another book

Self-esteem, personal pride
it's time to put yourself first
You deserve a break today,
no wait, you'll only look worse

Eat more ~ eat less ~ I'll never get this right
Hit the gym
~weigh in
~~man my jeans are tight

Think about it, plan ahead
never let it go
Wear a baggy sweater,
maybe it won't show

You can do this ~ you can fix it
make this weight loss snappy
then finally you'll be so slim
just maybe you'll be happy

Really?! Truly?! do I believe this?
Absolutely NO!
Peace and joy and a walk so strong
I've got to let this go!

My body is His temple
to glorify His name
my fears and insecurities
are only to His shame

A steward of this holy place
is what I am to be
In my choices honor Him
and I will be set free!

Nourish my soul in His word
morning noon and night
then caring for my body
will no longer be a fight

Thank you Father for the truth and strength
found only in Your word
A faithful servant I will be
Your message I have heard

Each day, each hour and every thought
I give my life to You
Destroy this idol that lives in me
restore my heart and make me new

The accuser had me for a moment
broken bruised and shattered
You slayed this dragon in my life so I could
remember all that mattered

I am Yours, loved and saved
and here for just a season
To tell the world of Your gift of love
You gave for Your own reason

Idols gone and strength restored
Your mercies know no end
With all my heart I thank You God ~
my Savior and my Friend

a moment with God...

One step
~One slip
~~One trip
~~~One tumble
In to a great abyss I stumble
Moments ago so sure and clear,
How did this happen?
Why am I here?

Never
~Never
~~ Never again
Yet here I am ~ wondering when
~When did I slip?
~~What did I do?
All that I want
~is to be close to You.

Your dear servant Job knew just what to say
~and I remember, Your way is not my way

The heat of this fire is removing the dross
The pain that I suffer will not be a loss
Impurities gone, this saint more refined,
More valuable than gold, this servant will shine

The pain and the strain that I'm feeling this day
Are the chisels and blows of the Potter to His clay
Making and moulding this servant He loves
To be wise as a serpent ~ but gentle as a dove

Not a failure but a trial -
the accuser's a liar!
I welcome the trustworthy
Refiner's fire!

Fooled no more by life's discomfort and pain
These trails and hardships shall end as my gain

Stepping and climbing
~Gaining more ground
A moment with God
~Has turned me around!

No more smoke, just the fire
Such brilliant light
I will rest in His comfort
Find strength in His might

This journey continues from glory to glory
Each one will have his own unique story

Thank you my Father for the gift of Your Son
Continue to shape me 'til my work here is done

buried alive...

Digging deeper on very personal matters as encouraged in a bible study entitled "Living Beyond Yourself" by Beth Moore I have been challenged time and time again to consider how things really are compared to how I have believed them to be ~ to soul search and be completely honest -and I have prayed that God would not give me peace if I was missing something ~ request granted...

From childhood forward I have learned certain coping mechanisms - ways to handle or deal with pain or disappointment ~ and many instances, maybe even most - I do handle things head on, I generally have a healthy perspective and can put a difficult situation to rest - for good...

But sometimes the wound is so painful or so deep, I can't bring myself to look at it - sometimes I'd rather forget it than face it~ so I just bury it ~ and I've now I've come to realize ~ I bury it alive...

God knew the trials and heartache I would face before He created me, He knows what I need in my life to shape and mould me in to who I am supposed to be ~ knowing this, I can now see how damaging my denial has been ~ failing to even admit to myself that I've been hurt leaves me weakened and vulnerable and unable to find proper perspective in certain relationships...

Having come to this realization, I must confess to the pain of rejection I have faced, I must stop trying to obtain approval from others as though this will bring me peace on the matter ~ what I have buried alive I must briefly unearth so that I may end its life and remove its power once and for all...

I will have scars indeed, but I will treasure every battle wound in the name of freedom ~ freedom in Christ ~ freedom for unhindered growth and fellowship ~ freedom to continue to make new discoveries about my Savior ~ freedom to experience unsurpassed joy - no matter my circumstances ~ freedom from having my very soul, buried alive...

and they will know we are Christians by our (supernatural) love...

Eros ~ intimate love, love between a man and wife; philos~ friend love, and affection toward another, often grown from similar or common interests - both called love in the English language - both come with emotion and both are within our grasp - even in our own strength...

but agape ~ this love is so much more, this love is described with 15 different attributes ~ this is the love in 1 Corinthians 13, this is the love that bears witness to the work of the Holy Spirit in us, the love we are commanded to give to our brothers and sisters in Christ, all of our brothers and sisters in Christ, and this is the love that we are commanded to love our God - agape love - with all our heart, with all our mind and with all our soul, and this is the love that God so loved us with that He gave us His Son ~ but this love is not attainable in our own strength ~ this is a supernatural love, a love that can exist only by the power and leading of the Holy Spirit in us ~

Agape is patient ~ agape is kind ~ agape does not envy ~ agape does not boast ~ agape is not proud ~ agape is not rude ~ agape is not self-seeking ~ agape is not easily angered ~ agape keeps no record of wrong ~ agape does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth ~ agape always protects ~ agape always trusts ~ agape always hopes ~ agape always perseveres ~ agape never fails

Agape is described with absolutes and as a complete package, and it is always demonstrated, never just 'felt' ~ we are incapable of this kind of love on our own, and if you doubt that ~ consider, do you love, as described above and demonstrated by your actions all brothers and sisters in Christ?

Yet we are commanded to do just this ~ and through the power of His Holy Spirit we can do what is otherwise impossible, we can be used to demonstrate His love ~ agape love ~ supernatural love

And who wouldn't notice this? Certainly not natural, to some even crazy - but wonderfully and unmistakably noticeable ~ so one must ask ~ do they know we are Christians by this love?

whitewashed...

When I confess my sins and am forgiven ~ they are as far from me and as far from God as the east is from the west...

So why do some return to us, memories and regret, nagging and unresolved?

No doubt Satan will use this as a tool ~ a tool to bring shame when we know we have been given grace, to rob us of the truth of the work on the cross, to call us to deny the completeness of the payment of our penalties ~ regrets that can cripple us, denial that places a wall between us and our savior - intolerable, inexcusable lies of Satan that must be immediately rejected so that they have no chance to take root, no opportunity to take away even a moment of fellowship with our Lord. But I wonder, is this the only reason these thoughts return?

Confession, true confession is difficult and I think often not reached. Soul baring confession, not some superficial mention of a wrong, not apologizing for the symptom of our sin, not just an admission of the obvious - but a self examination of the heart, seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit to expose the full truth of our sin, the real root of our behavior ~ removing the layers until we strike a nerve and we feel the pain and sorrow of true repentance ~ confession to our all knowing God that sincerely conveys all that we are capable of understanding about our sin...

It is hard to say "I've sinned", harder still to call it was it is, identify and label it, feel the shame and remorse ~ so I think what we often do is 'give a nod' to our sin, whitewash its full reality and thereby fail to truly confess, deceiving our selves, but not the Holy Spirit that grieves within us...

It occurs to me, that if a sin continues to be a struggle, or if the memory of a past sin continues to plague our thoughts, it might be appropriate to give it one last examination, be certain we have removed the sugar coated 'whitewash' used to make it palatable, and confess it to God once and for all...