whitewashed...

When I confess my sins and am forgiven ~ they are as far from me and as far from God as the east is from the west...

So why do some return to us, memories and regret, nagging and unresolved?

No doubt Satan will use this as a tool ~ a tool to bring shame when we know we have been given grace, to rob us of the truth of the work on the cross, to call us to deny the completeness of the payment of our penalties ~ regrets that can cripple us, denial that places a wall between us and our savior - intolerable, inexcusable lies of Satan that must be immediately rejected so that they have no chance to take root, no opportunity to take away even a moment of fellowship with our Lord. But I wonder, is this the only reason these thoughts return?

Confession, true confession is difficult and I think often not reached. Soul baring confession, not some superficial mention of a wrong, not apologizing for the symptom of our sin, not just an admission of the obvious - but a self examination of the heart, seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit to expose the full truth of our sin, the real root of our behavior ~ removing the layers until we strike a nerve and we feel the pain and sorrow of true repentance ~ confession to our all knowing God that sincerely conveys all that we are capable of understanding about our sin...

It is hard to say "I've sinned", harder still to call it was it is, identify and label it, feel the shame and remorse ~ so I think what we often do is 'give a nod' to our sin, whitewash its full reality and thereby fail to truly confess, deceiving our selves, but not the Holy Spirit that grieves within us...

It occurs to me, that if a sin continues to be a struggle, or if the memory of a past sin continues to plague our thoughts, it might be appropriate to give it one last examination, be certain we have removed the sugar coated 'whitewash' used to make it palatable, and confess it to God once and for all...